The Kpop Culture, Something I'll never Understand

Before you start reading, let me just say these are all just my personal opinion. I have nothing against Kpop fans, we're probably just in different channels of interest and opinions. I don't hope to offend if you do find something offensive. 

Yesterday I was searching in Youtube for a song by Big Bang (I then found out it's called Blue.. and I've gotten a little bored with it). It's the only Korean song that I like and I heard it from radio. And since I'm not a Kpop fan I don't know the name of that song. I had to listen to all the other songs by them.

I've never been a Kpop fan my entire life. I've watched Korean dramas but not like most people. And we all know how the Kpop industry has been expanding these few years. I've never really cared much about those Kpop bands, all those Girls Generation, Super Juniors la.. because honestly, I can never differentiate their faces. I really don't know what is so nice about them. T.T

Because we all know that ... they all have surgeries so they have similar facial traits. Long sharp nose, kissable mouth, sharp features, the golden triangle. There really isn't anything that actually stands out from their faces because they're all so perfect that it seems a little boring to me. Typical Korean actors and singers. 

It's not like I oppose plastic surgeries. I know people do plastic surgeries to improvise their looks but I'm more of a supporter of being imperfect. I don't see the reason as to why people need to be perfect all the time. I have this problem of recognising people's face. I tend to forget how people look really easily unless I've seen you a lot of times or if you have any features that really stand out. And because the Kpop stars are ALL so perfect, they look the same to me. 

No offence to the Kpop fans, but then most of them actually love the looks more than their talents (and I have no idea why girls like them so much, with the exception with Lee Min Ho). And I know some might argue that well, looks are everything and so what if they like looks and yada yada. Not like I think there's no talented stars in Korea, but I think probably everyone should start recognising the talents in these stars instead of their looks. I've never been a fan of their music because it's not my type. Their music tends to be really loud and instruments (often electronic) are always louder than the singers' voices that I hardly hear their voices. T.T No offence (again) but I heard the girls in Girls Generation don't really have a superb voice. Flunyway, my point is that, there're so many talented stars, maybe everyone should start focusing on their talents. Like, maybe the singer doesn't need to have a Mariah Carey voice range but if the songs are actually written and composed well, perhaps people should start appreciating that. Not everything is about looks ... but well, I get it that in Korea, looks probably are more important than anything. 

Flunyway, I was randomly listening to Big Bang's songs and their music video and mother of God, I look at the guys' makeup and they have thick eyeliner on their eyes. Almost. Every. Freaking. Music. Video. In the past, I've had friends who are fans of J-Rock fans (before Kpop rules the world) and yeah, usually singers like that have like, really exaggerated make-up even if they're guys, but not everyone like that style and in the past, it has got smaller market base. But now, everywhere I see, I see people into bands like these. T.T

 I have no idea why... I can't imagine my boyfriend one day (if I ever have one) put on heavy black eyeliner on the eyes ... no, I really can't imagine.

And then the other day I randomly ended up in KBS channel in Astro and watched Dream High 2. There was this scene where a girl got bullied (I think) and when she opened her locker, lots of apples fell down. Then this guy with SUPER heavy thick eye liner helped and once again, mother of God!!!! The guy's make-up hor, is like super thick like that one! And the girl is like so plain and doesn't have any make up on (not thick that kind). I'm not trying to practise double standard here, saying that guys can't put on makeup, just ... why so thick?! Even if a girl put on thick scary makeup, I would've freaked out (unless you're on a fashion runway or some really special ocassions, like Halloween) too! That's when I switched to other channels. 

Maybe it's because I'm now older, I just don't seem to get what is all the Kpop hype about. The last drama I watched was ... I can't remember the title la... but the famous drama with the famous pig rabbit one (the girl had to act as a boy because her twin brother got hospitalised one) and that also I think it was just okay. Not too bad, not too good either. So the last most memorable drama I watched as Boys Over Flowers (ok, this one really nice). In fact, let me list out Korean dramas I've watched:

1. Stairway to Heaven
2. Save Your Last Dance for Me
3. Goong
4. Boys Over Flowers
5. That drama which I've forgotten the name 

I wanted to watch City Hunter but it was boring for me too. The only guy whom I like is Lee Min Ho. I think probably because I've grown up older now, lau kok kok.. I'm already not interested in the entertainment industry. I remember when I was 12 and how everyone was in F4 and when we were all still children. Maybe during that time, my mom was wondering what I'm wondering now too. What is it that gets everyone so excited about all these stars? 

Charity

That Kony2012 video has been spreading all over the world lately, and the Invisible Children has been asking everyone to share the video. I've watched it and shared it the minute I finished it.

And then because it was so famous, some people have their different opinions and views on it. And I've been reading them and watching the videos from different people on this issue. You know, everything, when they're like super famous, will have a lot of criticism towards it. I've read article on the White Man's Burden , blogs and videos from people who support Invisible Children and then comments from people who said that IC only uses 30% of their funds for donations. And then they're also people who defended the IC and said hat 30% is enough to make major changes and how IC needs to pay for their costs and hiring of workers too. And some people have been saying that this issue is so overrated and what happened had not been that serious afterall. And we also got the news that Kony has not been in Uganda for the past 6 years and the IC gave the wrong information. There're also people saying that not many people even know where Uganda is on the map and we're all  acting high and mighty like we know lots of stuffs.

There're like so so many views on this whole Kony but that's not what I'm gonna say. I've just read Xiaxue's blog post and once again, she has her points so naisely done.

A lot of times, I don't even know why I want to help people. Because they're worse than us and that we have this obligation to help them? Who are we to say that they're worse than us? A lot of issue's in life comes from comparison. In life, when we don't compare things, we don't actually feel bad. But once we start comparing, there's always gonna be the best and the worst. Even if the worst is not that bad anymore, it's still the worst and people are always gonna think it that way. Have you ever thought that some people we want to help so much, they themselves do not actually feel that they're pitiful? They might feel that they're just fine. I think in life, a good life means having the 3 basic needs: clothes, shelter, food. Just because other kids do not have an iPhone or a phone for that matter, means that they're worse off than use and then we have to go like, "omg.. you poor little child". You know, a lot of kids in the poor countries enjoy their life too. Not like us, maybe, but they too have their own entertainment and their situation is not as bad as we think they are. It's like, not all kids in Africa are poor and have sad life. Yes, maybe their proverty line is much higher than ours, but that doesn't mean ALL of them have miserable life. Probably is the media that keeps reporting and saying how sad these people are and then National Geographic magazine will have famous pictures of the poorest kids in Africa and then everyone in the world think that that's how Africa is. Look, the entire world is moving in advance. We now have lesser and lesser poor people and it's an amazing thing. Countries are moving forward, some at slower pace and the future is not that dark.

I'm not here to judge those people who does charity. In fact, I respect them and my sister went to Cambodia to help kids there. I really do respect these people and I have no rights to condemn them, saying that they're hypocrites. And sometimes, I think I AM the hypocritical one. But so many people have this perception that if you don't have a gold heart, then they have a black heart. I hate it when people go like, "If you don't share this, then you're just heartless". Or some people go keep condemning how others are actually abusing animals and there they are, wearing real furs, idolising the high fashion so much. Sometimes, I think this world we live in, we give too much credit to people who help around, to the extend that people who doesn't help kind look like the "bad person". Helping, and doing charities doesn't make you heroes, you're not supposed to take credit for what you've done.

You know all those things that are shared on Facebook? Like, they always have an ugly picture of a child having cancer and he has so many tubes poking through his body and then urging everyone to share so that he recovers and that Facebook will donate 1 cent for each share. Like.. those are bullshit. Seriously, why bother sharing? If Facebook is serious about donating, they don't need the number of likes and shares to determine how much they're donating. So if there's only 10 people sharing, Facebook will donate only 10 cents but if there're 1 million people sharing, they'd donate a million? Like, seriously?! Besides, posting pictures like this and then asking people share will not really help the condition of that child. All these awareness, they're pretty meaningless sometimes/

I used to have a very conventional opinion towards doing good things, until last week when after I've watched the Kony video and read opinions and views from so many different people. Sometimes, we want to help, but helping can go wrong too. This world is a very realistic and complex world. I'm not saying that we should not help these people. What I'm saying is that helping should be left to everyone's discretion and that if you decide not to help, you shouldn't feel bad about it and that you also shouldn't judge others who do not help. Because a lot of things are not what they seem to be and sometimes, there're a deeper issue that can't be revealed to the public. I'm pretty sure Kony 2012 is not as simple as it seems to be. For Kony to gain that much power just by killing people, I'm pretty sure there's a deeper issue into it. Also, people need to stop having the mindset that "these people NEED my help", or "We're the stronger countries, we NEED to help these people". We do not have to make these our obligations and once again, it's left to everyone's discretion.



This blog post might have lots of contradictions because I'm a lazy ass blogger who wouldn't arrange her thoughts nicely. Like I've said before, I'm a compulsive blogger ... not a blogger who would arrange her post naisely. But anyway, the main point of my post is that, we can't feel obligated to help others just because the society is putting a pressure on it. This, should be left to our choices and if we feel like doing it. Of course, it's good to help but it's not bad if you don't. Like, we need to stop playing the hero role.

And it's bloody 3 am now and my eyes are half closed already... T.T

Darn This World

Sometimes, I think comparing ourselves to other people can be one of the worst things that we can do to harm ourselves. If there were no ranking, no comparisons in this world, everyone would be feeling pretty good about themselves.


You know those kind of situation when you look at someone so perfect and then you feel so bad that you just aren't good enough? I've been feeling that lately. Like, I would never ever think that I'm ever good in drawing because there're so many people who are so much better than I am and it makes me feel pretty inferior about myself. Or I would never think that I'm a good person enough because well, sometimes my friends are better than I am and it kinda makes me feel bad about myself. Also, I don't think that I have any special talents and I'm so jealous at some other people who are better in art than I am.

Kinda makes life more miserable. :( Takes out the fun out of everything. Damn comparison. Why did the society would always pressure us to compare ourselves to our friends? Why do we have to compare ourselves to everything? Why do we need those results ranking in our classes when we were young? Why do we always have the "only the best can enter" concept? Why did the education system trains us in such a way that if we don't compete, we'll all just die? It's just so unfair and makes people feel bad about themselves.

Why can't we have a system where we all embrace our weaknesses and talents, and bloody abolish the ranking system in our schools? Why does top universities only accept best students?

At the end of the day, is that what life is all about? Is that what the education system is about?
I really want to know the mindset of those people who created this whole education system. Why can't we all study not because of becoming the best? Can't we study because the knowledge we gain is useful in our lives? That should be what the education is all about. I love studying Math, Science, Arts, Business and all the subjects I took but sometimes, everything is so tiring. Because the society has this concept that you know, you gotta find a job and things like that. And only the best of the best will be respected.

I mean, can't we all just go to school and classes without getting scared that if we're not good enough, we'll be doomed? Where in the world do schools ever teach us that it's okay to fail?

Out of Topic

... I'm out of topic and inspiration again. T.T

That's why I haven't been blogging for the past week. Wanted to do another nail art tutorial but then I haven't been blogging anything with nice contents these few weeks. Nowadays, it's so hard for me to be inspired to do something. Like, last time, I could blog every couple of days because I had so many things on my mind but then, now, it's so hard. :(

It's so sad cos' I really want to do something good out of this blog. But flunyway, I'm working on my new blogskin now. So far, it's not really going that well because .... the design turns out to be kinda like, out of m expectations. 

Just stay tune and I'll come out with something more refreshing soon. : D

How do you Blog?

I'm so sorry I haven't been updating for days. I've been so busy recently doing housework and becoming my mom's junior housewife. And it's even busier when the Chinese New Year is around the corner. 

This thing about me when blogging is that I need to blog immediately when the inspiration comes. Like, when I have thought and opinions about something, I need to get on the computer as quickly as possible. When my emotions are high (T.T ..... ), that's the best time or blogging. I can blog a perfect one. I'm actually very emotional when I'm blogging, because that's when I could really express what I feel about something. When I start blogging, I actually don't stop. Unlike some people who would split a long post into a couple of days, I actually don't. Some people would make sure that they have perfect pictures for their posts. And many actually take the time and trouble to Photoshop pictures and add funny captions into them. But I don't because hor, it's kinda like my "high" moment like that. I'll just keep typing and typing non-stop until I've completely expressed myself. Then I'll just click on the "Publish Post" thing. That's why, my posts tend to have more words. 

Also, I need to have background music when I'm blogging. Which song depends on what kind of stuff I'm blogging. Inspiring songs for inspiring post. Touching song for touching post. Ahhh.... like in the movies like that!

Most of the time, I can't blog about things that I've thought about 2 days ago. Because then, I would have lost all the inspirations and then the points I've thought about excitedly all forget already. I'll have no mood to blog about it. 

I know of some bloggers who would actually write down the main points of what they're gonna blog about nicely and then plan the whole structure of their blog. So systematic like that. Like writing essay for SPM English. I'm more of the spontaneous kind of person, that's why my posts have messy structures with repeated main points and stuffs. 

What about you? How do you blog? Do you blog spontaneously like me or systematically? But whatever it is, I think what really is enjoyable is just jotting down whatever you want and it's easy and fast! : D

Y No One Reads My Blog?

I always wonder, why there isn't much people who reads my blog? I actually have pretty good contents in my blog, you know. I'm pretty confident on that. Okay, maybe I haven't been updating much during my A-Levels days (which, I've lost a lot of readers) but flunyway, last month, I've been doing my best to gain more readers. I've been posting on Innit so much, share on Facebook and Twitter and I even went to various websites on how to increase traffic. Luckily, Innit Nuffnang is such a good place to advertise your blog, I have increasing readers.

When I look at other blogs, sometimes I wonder why theirs are are more popular than mine and why they can earn so much in such a short time. A lot of girls, all they do is to camwhore, be a little prettier, and post a post with their makeup-ed pictures. And then they have an army of followers in short time. 

Sigh... when you're pretty, things are indeed easier for you. I've been cracking my head for new ideas to blog about but then my traffics are still so low. That's saddening. #foreveralone blogger.. The pretty bloggers, things seem so easy for them. Probably because they're pretty already and so sociable, they have so many friends that their blogs are so famous. All they need is to post about what's going on in their life. Whereas people like me, who blog more about ideas, always have less readers. :(

But doesn't matter. :D 

I still love this blog because there're still some readers and friends who still keep in contact with me. Besides, I have no pressure to blog my own opinion since I don't have to be scared about what people think of me. 

But... 

forever alone is always forever alone!

My Holiday Resolutions

Now that I'm more free, I've actually made some holiday resolutions for myself. This I plan to do during the holidays:

1. Learn cycling. T.T
   Yeah... it's a little late but better late than never, right? Many of my friends and family know and I think I'm the only one who doesn't know. How sad... 
2. Continue with my art classes. Cannot abandon this one. 
3. Find a job. I'm trying to find a teaching job. Preferably in a school but I don't know what it feels like to teach so well, if anyone is good enough to explain to me what it feels like teaching a class of primary school students, I'll be happy enough. :D
4. Make a video! This is definitely something out of my comfort zone but I really want to try making a video about something. You know, kinda like the Youtubers and the vloggers. I've not done any vlogging before and in fact, I'm pretty shy with the cameras but I see the videos posted in Youtube and I really want to try too! So stay tune, I'll try to come out with a video! :D
5. Apply for my uni. 

Not much things for me to do in fact, but I'm most excited about making the video. I'm still thinking about what I want to vlog about. I might even chicken out the last minute cos' I'm too shy, but I'll try to come out with one.

And also, try to look around for architecture courses around and see if it fits me. XD

Flunyway, that's all for this time, babai!

A-Levels Is Over!

The title speaks for itself! Phew, survived this this year!


So now that A-Levels is off my mind, you can expect better quantity and quality of posts in the future. :D As of right now, I just wanna relax and be cool about life. I've been so uptight and so tense and stressed and tired and so many things in my mind during this whole year.


So.. well, let's hope for the better me after this A-Levels.


That's all for this short update. Tata!

Deactivate my Facebook, again

 

Jeez.. I really have no choice but to deactivate it. :(
Or else, I don't have to go for my degree courses.

I don't know about you but I've always asked myself why I would name my blog as bananamylove.blogspot.com.


The truth is, there's no reason. It just popped out randomly. Like, one day, I was thinking that banana was my favourite food when I was young. And you know why I loved eating it?


Because my Chinese horoscope is a monkey and monkeys love banana and hence, I love banana to.
:|
Silly, I know.


The thing that I quite love and hate myself at the same time is my imagination, my randomness. I can be the most random person you will ever see. I can just do something out of the blue sometimes and I have no reason why. Like, this post, for example. I would just randomly blog about how random I am.



You are currently reading a random blog post.

Haha. But no, I am serious. There're a lot of times, when I can't stand my own imagination. I imagine too much, think too much, sometimes to the point of insanity.

That's why I can be quite a worrywart. My imaginations lead me to thinking and thinking can be, as you know, disastrous.


Shit. I think I will die young. If I ever get a boyfriend, I might get so worried that he might cheat on me and then I'll argue with him all the time and we'll fight and then we'll end up in a bad breakup and he'll end up finding a new girl who's much better and leave me all alone and I'll fall into depression and then one day, I'll commit suicide.


Oh God, I can already see how the newspaper headlines will be like:

 

....

My God. Flunyway, I put it 21-year-old cos' I'm pretty good and happily single (and probably homosexual) now.

This relationship thing, it's pretty scary, isn't it? It makes everyone to be on the top of the world, only to be crushed after that. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be a pessimist (okay, maybe I am) but then I don't know why, I'm trying to learn to be cautious on a lot of things. Because, a lot of times, unexpected things happen to us and sometimes, the world can be so bloody unfair. 

Trust, love, whatever all it is, sometimes, they only serve as a comfort, not facts.

Okay, okay, end of random post. XD

Carrots.

 

I think this is so far the best picture I've in Tumblr. 

Maybe one day, I'll shift to Tumblr. 

Haha, no. That won't happen.I'd rather to express what I want by myself rather than people doing it for me.

Jennifer's blog: the chocoholic

A preview of a half done blog. It's for Jenifer, my kindergarten friend. Haha!  She asked me to do like, one year ago, I'm the queen of the queen of procrastination. Okay, this time, I'm really determined to finish them. I need to stretch my creative cells a little bit. It's been so long since I last design something, painted a drawing or draw a human figure. :(

I can't let my creative cells die (I have this believe that my cells are constantly dying if I don't work for it) because you can't be smart if you aren't creative. And really smart people have balanced brain on both sides. So, just because you're good in science doesn't mean you're smart. Smart is a very subjective thing. 

Wah lau eh!!
II kept complaining about how busy I was in semester 1 and now sem 2, I don't even have the time to complain already! Big pile of stuffs are coming!!


Might not update blog for some time, forgive me. :(
Sometimes I feel so bad. This blog is one of the most important thing in my life and somehow, I keep abandoning it. It's like, I don't appreciate my boyfriend enough.


But oh wait, I don't have a boyfriend. I did mention that I have no interest in the opposite sex and there's probability that I'm a homo.


Okay, okay, before some people take my statements too seriously and start making rumours about me being a lesbian, I would like to clarify that I'm half joking. I don't think I'm a homo la. But if in the end I realise I am one, I would ....would... would... commit suicide because I cannot accept myself for who I am dunno la, when I become one already only I'll think about it.


Okay, that's all for this short post. See you again!!

Craps.

Shit hor.. my blog is currently so dead.
My semester 2 is starting and that means:

1. I'm back to SS15. 
2. Days of saving money again.
3. No more home cooked food
4. No more luxurious life 
5. Have to study again
6. Wake up early. Don't think I can do this. 
7. Wash toilet. 
8. So. Bloody. Boring

But on the other hand, I miss my friends so much that I can't wait to get back. Cos' it's so boring in Melaka. My friends are all in Form 6 and they already started school. Okay la.. to start off with, I don't have a wide social circle. My friends are balik-balik those ones.


I think it's a bad thing. Damn, should have socialised more in highschool, be more active and know a few guys. I realise now, I have no interest in guys. That actually made me wonder about my sexuality.




Okay, stop laughing. I'm serious about this. There's this probability that I might be homo. I don't have interest in guys and I couldn't be bothered to get a boyfriend. In fact, guys are still aliens to me. I don't like to go out shopping with them or you know, whatever crap la.. And then hor, I also like to look at beautiful girls. I think there aren't any handsome guys in this world and there're actually more beautiful girls.


That's why there's a big question mark on my sexuality. Damn la...my mom will be so disappointed if I'm a homo.

WHO AM I??

But then, let's say I'm actually a homo, I beg you to accept myself for who I am. I'm also doing a good thing if I'm a homo. I'll be helping the world. See, there're more girls than guys in this world mah. So if all guys marry the girls, there'll be a lot of baki of girls left. They cannot die without love so they can only find partners of the same sex. 

So, by becoming a homo, I'm actually spreading love to the world, just like what God wants us all to do.

No Holiday

Darn, looking at my sister who had already finished her finals and get holiday for 3 weeks, I feel so depressed and jealous.


I don't even get a month of holiday. Bloody 3 weeks only. My sister gets 3 months and I get 3 weeks.


I've been spending so much that I can literally go siao over money now.
Damn, I love Melaka so much.


Don't bother coming to here cos' I really have nothing to blog about at all. Anticipate my 3 weeks holidays cos' that's the only time when I can find for some inspiration. Right now, there's nothing else. Nothing is on my mind either cos' I'm currently emotion problem-free.


Meanwhile, go read my  sister's blog cos' she's so free to update frequently, unlike me who'd most probably abandon this for a moment of time. 

Meh Study Table

I'm supposed to be doing my Law's bloody human rights revision, study for my upcoming Econs test and blabla.. those work.
But then I suddenly I have this urge to update my blog since I've been abandoning it for more than a week. And I reckon you all need some updates from me.

Sigh... blogging for me, is so me. This is the place (I call my blog as a place) where you know, people read my blog to know more about me. More attention for me. I sound like an attention seeker but it's human stuff. I mean, we all are just human and there're so many times when we hope that our friends and family would pay more attention to us. But then, sometimes things don't go so well.

So, blogging is a pretty much a calming thing. It's my heaven because I know I can get all the attention I want without being called an attention seeker.

Flunyways, emo stuffs aside. Suddenly again, I have this urge to let you see my messy study table cos' I love it so much.

Now you get to see my messy dirty clothes in the pail, my messy table especially at the top part. Bad bad me, always so lazy to clean that part...Flunyway, the thing I love the most about my table is the yellow light and the whole table is made of wood so it's pretty... wood-ish. Then only got mood to study.

I need to get back to my studies already. I shouldn't even be doing this in the first place.
I think in the future, I need to photoshop my pictures into vintage style la...a little fade la.. or put shiny shiny stuffs on it. My blog look so boring with all these normal photos.

Don't Read This Cos' It's Just a Useless Post

Oh mai god.
I'm so sorry for abandoning my blog for one whole bloody week.  Life's been hectic with my presentation and business assignment which had, thankfully, passed.

And, please don't expect for any more new post next week cos' there'll be 3 subjects' test coming up and I've got to study like a mad girl. Worse thing is, I've abandoned my drawing for almost 2 weeks and next week, I don't have time at all. Sigh.. only now I get some time to relax a little.

Mooncake festival's coming.XD

Sorry, no inspiration to blog at all. Don't mind coming to my blog anymore cos' really, life is so bloody hectic that I've got time to think about life (or be emo about it). You know why?

Because everyday I've got to:

1.  Study like mad. 
2. Clean the bloody toilet. 
3. Wash the bloody dishes. 
4. Think about my next meal before eating my current meal. 
5. Control myself from shopping. 
6. Need to get enough sleep cos' I cannot be too sleepy during classes cos' my parents pay for them (which I fail miserably)
7. Eat a lot and save a lot. 
8. Save. A. Lot.

... Alright, you most probably had already seen this list lah...sigh, I'm so tired.

Short Procrastination

I'm updating my blog from Microsoft Word. It's the first time I'm doing this. Cute.

Flunyway, I need to get back to my list of things to do:

1. Thinking Skills presentation
   
2. Business assignments
   
3. Math revision cos' test is coming.
   
4. Drawing practices cos' my painting skills gone down so much that I almost puke blood.
   
5. Other subjects' tests coming. (Bloodyful….)
   
6. Study, study, study (see? A bloody boring life I have here).
   
7. Shopping.
   
8. Eat ketupat.
   I know as compared to other people, my schedule might just be normal. I mean, come on, this is college. There's no way I'm gonna have a lot of free time.
   

Random, Again

I've got nothing better to do:

1. I've got lots of assignments to do. Can't believe some people actually told me last time that Intians are students with lots of time. 
2. And yet I'm procrastinating. No motivation to study. 
3. I've been pretty hot-tempered after coming to college. Bloody hell, most probably because of the dirty air, heaty weather and all the tall buildings in Subang.
4. I miss Melaka. Sometimes, I would think that I should just study in MMU in the first place because I can stay in my comfort zone at home. But then again, life would've been really boring if the only thing that I focus is to study. Plus, there's no A-Levels in MMU.. haha.. 
5.  Money always stresses me out. Another reason why sometimes I'm so hot-tempered and emo. But my ego won't let me ask for extra money from my parents. 
6. If I can't earn my own money, then the least I can do is to save. 
7. This is the 200th post.
8. One thing I like about college is that I can wear different clothes everyday and it makes me happy. 
9. I like to walk from my hostel to college. Especially alone, when  I can have 20 minutes all by myself. 
10. I should practise drawing more. I think my watercolour skills are already becoming from bad to worse since I haven't been painting for 3 months. The only thing I did these three months is sketching. 
11. And buying a good watercolour paper requires money.
12. Sigh...
13. Sorry lah...my blog is becoming sooooooo boring these few months. I've got so many things on my mind that I haven't got much inspiration for any jokes or anything.

National Day is coming soon. I love being in Malaysia, to be honest. Despite the frequent complaints on the government, I still love being a Malaysian.

 Uuh.. by the way, KTM sucks so much that a felt like crying a few times. 

I promise to myself that I will:

1. Stop sleeping so late at night for no reason. 
2. Stop worrying myself with the future and start enjoying life now. 
3. do my best not to listen to what other people think of me. 
4. Be a nicer person. 
5. Laugh more even if people think I'm crazy. 
6. Be a more open-minded person. 
7. Practise drawing more. 
8. SAVE MORE MONEY. 
9. Start eating more. 
10. Love all my friends. 
11. Love all my family. 
12. Be a more positive person. 
13. Study more. 
14. Be more outspoken. 
15. Improve my Cantonese even if I suck now. 
16. Be whoever I am, minus all those bad traits. 
17. Have my own identity. 
18. Find who I am in one year's time. 
19. Love all the subjects I'm studying now. 
20. Be less judgemental.