Things I learn from KL

During my A-Levels, I went to Subang for one year and a half. I'm from Melaka myself so obviously, I'm not a city kind of girl. In Melaka, our lives are not as exciting as in the city. We don't have that much places to go and not that much shopping centers and pubs or clubs. So obviously,when I get to live outside my own hometown, there's this excitement that most people have when studying outside their hometown. A lot of my friends don't really want to stay in Melaka, because most of us wouldn't just want to stay in a small little town our entire lives. After all, Melaka IS small. It's a historical town and we all love it but we pretty much grew up with it so we've seen it all. :D The chicken rice, the cendol, Jonker Street and others, we all grew up with them. :) So, the thing is, I went to KL and study and so now, part of life is also there because well, I've got friends and memories there and things like that. Then went there for 1.5 years, studied like hell, good things happened, bad things happened, and tadahhhh..... I'm back now!

But the thing that I'll always wonder to myself is whether I've changed or not and how much have I changed? As a Malaccan myself, I've never really liked the people in the city, to be honest. And it's not just me, a lot of people too. We always have this perception that people in KL are all a bunch of snobs, show offs. That's generalisation la, of course. They are so much more modern than us, more complex and they're always more brand-conscious than us. That's there's still a few of my friends didn't want to go there. I don't think it's just in KL though. Most cities in the world are like that. After all, it's city. :)

So the thing is, have I been KL-ised by my friends in KL? I think I do. My friends told I did change a little. I think all of my friends who went to KL for studies have all been KL-ised. Lives are different now. If I were to compare them now and then (when we're still in secondary school), there's a huge difference. The way they dress up, the way they talk, the confidence they have, the money they spend, it's all different now. I changed too, when I think about it. The type of KL person that I imagine in my mind 2 years ago, right now, I think I probably am part of it. I've probably changed into a slightly less naive person, more materialistic, a person who's a little more selfish, a little more protective of myself, I guess.

Because it's only when I go to KL, I get to see the world is a big bad place. I'm not trying to exaggerate or make things sound emo. But the thing is, the world is really not a rainbow. A lot of people know this and I knew it even before I went to KL. But most of us don't really EXPERIENCE it and hence, we would never really understand what it feels like. Not everyone is good to you in this world. A lot of people are going to judge you and when you fail, they don't come and encourage and motivate. They'll talk behind your back and say that you're a failure..bluek.. bitches! Some people are going to be good to you with a motive, like only when they want something out of you, probably money (and yes, I've got friends like that). The thing is, we can't really predict who's good and who's bad. You don't know which friends are actually good to you, which friends are PRETENDING to be good to you. It's only when things happen that you will see them for their true colours. So, what's more important is that you need to guard your heart to make sure it's not broken too much. It's really important that you don't let your guards down. That's how I learn to be less naive, the world is a very very complex world. But I'm not all innocent either. I've done things that hurt my friends too behind their back, or even in front of them. T.T

Things there are really expensive and only then I realise that Malaccans are really good in saving. Food in Melaka is so bloody cheap, you know? I almost had a nervous breakdown when I see prices in KL. :( Eventually, I started becoming more materialistic. Even when my friend borrowed only a couple of cents from me also I must take back from him. I dowan to die in the street of KL. So dirty. No money, no talk, babeh! People there also show off with their money. Even if they're not exactly that rich, they still would do whatever it takes to go for shopping and buy stuffs. I don't know how they do it because I can barely survive.

Sometimes, we really need to open up our eyes to see the world. It's not like it's completely hopeless though. My friends there are great, I'm not expecting much from them but I'm satisfied enough. It's just that.. aih.. I think it's really important to protect ourselves because if we don't, we will end up getting hurt. Friends are important but they come and go. Sometimes, no matter how much you cherish them, there will come a point in your life when you're less important to them and then they'll meet new ones.

I don't know if my friends in Melaka would accept me less for my changes. But I change for reasons. That's why friends grow apart. Because of changes that can't be accepted. I don't hate myself for changing because it's part of me that becomes stronger. I'm kinda proud of myself now actually.. haha. Hate myself for what.. not like I kill someone. So far my good friends are still pretty good with me. I can't say about the future but we all live based on hope. : D