Letter to My Sixteen-year-old Self

It is inspired by fourfeetnine's blog post which is inspired by another blogger. Really, you should try doing this. It refreshes you.
19 and 16 is not really a big gap for a long time, but then ... I just feel like doing. If it sounds boring to you, don't read it, you can just skip this post.



" Heys, how ya' doing?

Now, it's pretty awkward talking to yourself, but then again, this talking to ourselves thing, we do it all the time, don't we?  Flunyway, in this case, it is writing a letter to myself.

Anyway, dear myself, you must be studying hard for your SPM. At this right moment 3 years ago, you should be erm.. lemme think... drawing. Yeah, most probably. Ahh ... how could I ever forget. The days when you were most hardworking. When most of your friends are sleeping at night, you'd be finishing your homework, study and then it's time for drawing. Now that I think about it, the comics that (which are ALL half way done) you've drawn are still in my drawer. Heck, even drawings from Form 1 are still in the drawer. I shall call it the drawing drawer. Buahaha....

Whatever it is, just to tell you this, I'm proud of you since you're passionately doing what you want to do. Which is good, regardless of whether in the end you achieved it or not.

Also, you're stressing out on your future. I know, you've been stressing about this since forever. Sometimes, it could be rather overwhelming with so many things that you have to consider. But don't indulge in self-pity again. Yes, sometimes things are not really the way it is. Not the way you want it to be. But let me tell you, there're a lot more people who suffer more than you do, who work harder than you do and they still get less than you do. So seriously, you wanna complain? It's a nice thing to see you sacrificing your sleep for drawing and stuffs, spending most of your money on drawing and eventually, spoiling the light bulb in your room. Yep, it's currently unused. Speaking about this light bulb, because it's gonna spoil at the end of your Form 4, you'll have to spend your drawing times on your study table after that. Well, let's just say that it's more comfortable drawing in your room rather than outside your room.

Right now, I know nothing matters more than drawing for you. Your life depends on it. Literally. You draw for almost everyday (okay, we both know that it's not EXACTLY everyday) because you have this thought that if you stop drawing for more than a few days, your creative cells will die each day and within a week, you can't draw anymore. Pfft.. such naive thought but really, that's one hell of a motivation for you.

Flunyway, because your life depends so much on it, in the near future, when you know you're not supposed to depend on it anymore, you find it a little bit hard to cope with. Look at it this way, you have a boyfriend whom you spend every minute with,every second with, it's him you think about everyday and blah blah... one day, he's out of your life and your mind is just ... blank. You have no sense of direction and goals. But don't worry, you will try to get things sorted out.

Okay, here's the spoiler on your near future. You're gonna end up taking A Levels. A Levels, get it? Never thought about it, huh? Like, I know currently A Levels is just something you heard of, and never really consider about it.

I can imagine your horror. But don't worry, since I'm only 19, I can't read your far future. The good news is, you, surprisingly, will not regret your decision. Even if time can be pushed back and repeated again, you will still take A Levels. Despite the fact that it's so hard that sometimes, you feel like burning the entire college, you'll still find the fun part of it. You'll be going to INTI College in Subang, also one that you'll never think about. Life is just, unpredictable like that. Whatever it is, you'll find great friends in Subang. That is, one of the reasons why you enjoy A Levels. I know you must be pretty scared of mixing with all these KL friends but trust me, not all of them are as sophisticated as you think. They're still lots of really nice friends there. You'll also meet your first few international friends and really, they're just like any other human being on earth. There's gonna be a Hongkie in your class (her name's Angelos). There's also gonna be a Canadian British in science class but then he'll transfer back to England in semester 2. Haha.

I know you will miss you your high school friends. I haven't even said finish about high school and I've already moved on to the college life. Haha... anyway, okay, let me tell you about high school stuffs. You will work hard, pretty hard for your SPM.4Sc2 is a lovely class, which you already know. Oh, and you'll be the Asst. Head Librarian for the next one year! A pretty good achievement for yourself. But then it comes with a heavy responsibility. Throughout the coming one year, you'll learn a lot (and I mean really really a lot) of leadership skills and how to handle people. Some things, they just can't be bought with money. :D
You dedicate quite a lot of time in your library. And your president is Yeo Hui Ming, which is predictable of course. And don't worry about having conflict with her as both of you will work really well. To be honest, she's the best partner I've ever worked with so far. Man, it's been such a long time since I've last talked to her.  Really, both you and her don't really have major conflict. Maybe some disagreements but you'll be able to work it out together.

And then you will go to Form 5 and don't worry, you still stay in 5Sc2. This class, at first might seem boring. There're some people in your class that you might not like but guess what, after a few months, you actually enjoy your time there. And these people are those who are constantly making the entire class fun and alive.And your class will not win the gymnastraeda but then you'll get the best in Form 5. So yeah, not really a failure either. Flunyway, as time flies, your class gets even more and more fun. In fact, 5Sc2 is the best class you've ever been to in your 5 years of secondary school life. Those times when you and your friends are working hard towards SPM, you really have to cherish those moments. These things don't come twice. Oh, by the way, you'll be sitting with Qiu Lin, and in front of you will be Chiew Fern and Wen Yu while at the back will be Serene and Lynndy (Lynndy will be entering INTI too and in fact, she's the one who recommends INTI). Hmmm.. nice times.

Then your tuition, well, it's still gonna be the same as in Form 4. You won't be going for your Bio tuition in Form 5 because well, you kinda half give up that subject. And yeah, you'll still be sitting with Sherilynn in Add. Math and Jia Sin won't be with you guys in Form 5. Sad thing, because you guys always depend on her for the answers.

You'll end up getting 9As and 1B in your SPM. Oh, the government is changing it to A+ and A- instead of A1 and A2. When you enter A Levels, you'll give up all your Science subjects. You'll be taking the Arts instead with Econs,Law, Math and Business.

A lot of people are gonna ask you why you would waste all your Science knowledge just like that but worry not. You'll never regret this choice. In fact, each major choices that you make in this coming 3 years, you'll never regret them. Maybe it's simply because you're not the type to regret things. You'll know that what's done is done, and whatever choice you made, you will benefit from it. You will look at the positive side of things and move on, because things change, people change and you, too, will change.

Your family is good, pretty fine as it always is. Your sister's still in Perth, your parents are still the same they are (and to be honest, they haven't really gotten any older) and guess what, you'll be moving to a new house soon. It's not happening yet but yeah, soon. You'll finally get rid of the noisy and dirty MMU students. Your younger sister, brother, all good.

I gotta say that during these times in A Levels, you'll learn a lot of things too. A lot about friendship, and how you will need to learn not to depend someone too much, emotionally. But it's okay, mistakes happen. I'll not tell you what you do since this is a public blog and in fact, you just gotta discover it yourself. Or else, you'll never learn.

So, this is so much the 19-year-old you that can tell you. Have a safe adventure in your not-so-boring-but-still-a-little-boring life. Haha, whatever it is, just enjoy you being 16. You don't become 16 everyday."

...
I've written so much eventhough I'm just nineteen. Really, those who are twenty something (happens to be the blogger who originally thought of this idea), they will write non-stop.

This one's a really nice thing to do so I think you should try too. It's enjoyable and inspiring at the same time.