Shit Happens, Life Goes On

There're a lot of times when life gives you shit. Loads of it.

These things in life, woke me up so hard. I've never felt like this before. It makes me wonder about the whole purpose in life, what friends are for when you're in trouble.


And then I realise, friends are not just those who protect you, who help you, who stay by you when you need them. They don't just tell you, "It's okay, things will be better. I'll stay by your side. You can always depend on me." They are not just partners whom you can lean against when your boyfriend ditch you, your fight with your family or when your academic results suck.

This friend woke me up so much that I can never thank her more than enough. Words can't describe everything and obviously, I'm not good with just talking. I do not expect her to read this post but hopefully, somehow she knows how much I will thank her, how much I appreciate her help. :D And in the future, I will do anything it takes to help this friend.


She makes me realise how shallow I've been all these years. I realise that I'm not perfect. I thought that when I'm weak, I can depend on a friend to tell me that things are fine. And I expected that friend to stay by my side because that's what friends are for. And then she gives me a big hard slap (not literally) on my face and tells me to stand by myself. And then I got angry because I thought that's not how friends should treat friends. Suddenly, she wants me to be all alone and I thought she's gonna ditch me. I start to feel insecure, angry and emotional about it. I thought that I got betrayed and cheated, after all the things I've done for her. I thought, how could she forget about all the good memories and then leave me all alone when I really wanna depend on someone.

I've gone through the weakest phase of my life, behaving immaturely and depending on other people. I've been staying in my comfort zone for far too long and expect people to come and help me. And when they don't, I start feeling insecure, feeling so scared that I would be alone.

But this friend, showed me that one can never be strong forever, can never be weak forever either. She showed me that no one can save me except for myself. She showed me that everyone's just gonna pity me, and that's not something worth gaining for. Through experience, I learn from mistakes.

And this friend, showed me that real friends are friends who are not afraid to tell you that you're wrong. Real friends are friends who are not afraid to be hated by you so that one day, you would grow up to be stronger person. Real friends are friends who are not afraid to be misunderstood by you just so that you will learn to be more mature.

She makes me see the brighter side of things, grow up to be a stronger individual who can really stand on both her feet.She makes me realise that shit happens in life and life's a bitch to you sometimes. But it's your own choice to look at brighter side of things or the darker side. If you're gonna look at the darker side, then you can go on and no one's gonna save you. Be negative and live your life like that, no one will give a damn to you anyway.

What you do represents who you are. Mistakes in life make you a more humble person. If I could turn the clock around, I would still commit the same mistakes, do the same thing, make the same drama and be as immature as I was. Because without doing these mistakes, I would never know that such a good friend exist, I would never change myself. Going through this shit, I know I will be much stronger, much braver and tougher. And I also know that in life, you've got to learn from other people, not being ego and think you're great and all sorts of things like that.By learning from other people, you take more rational actions and slowly, you're more mature. 

This friend, will leave me one day. She will be back to where she's from but she will never disappear from my life because she's done such a big favour to me and I know, I can never repay with just anything. Whether she reads this or not, I just wanna say thanks to her and she's gonna be one hell of a successful person in her future undertakings.

I'm not that afraid of my future anymore because whatever that comes to me, I know I can stand on both my feet and this time, depend on myself. My family's not gonna stay by my side forever. My parents will leave me one days, my siblings will have their own life and I'm in control of my own life. I know I ought to be stronger and I believe I will because there's nothing I can't do. :)

I might just be another friend she's met throughout her life, one of her many friends. But for all I know, she left amazing footprints in my life that can never be washed away by anything else.

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P.S You can see that my blog is hardly updated nowadays. I'm not gonna close down this blog but I can't really tell you when I will update again, due to all the busy schedule. But if time allows, I'll try to update, so don't worry about it!!