Glimpse of Living Far Far Away from Home

I have a number of friends who can't get the chance to study far away from home because usually, they don't want to waste their parents' money, parents' don't let and they don't want to leave home.
I consider myself the few lucky peeps to be able to study in Subang.
Even though some of my friends claim that they want to save their parents' money and to stay by their parents' side, I'm pretty sure that once in a while, they will think about what it feels like to experience the freedom.
I, for one, have been lucky to have open-minded parents.
Let's say if I wanna stay in Melaka, I'm pretty sure my mom will kick my butt and force me to go to the dangerous Subang to "experience reality of life".


Which I couldn't agee more.
I do learn about reality of life here.


But leaving you family members is not as exciting as what it seems to be. In this case, it doesn't matter whether the distance between your home and the place you study is far or not. It's all about feelings.
I remember the first night I arrived in Subang, I looked out the window and suddenly, there's no more MMU opposite my house and Ixora beside it. The view outside is all cars and tall tall buildings.


And guess what? The second day there and I already had a running nose.
You know, coming here is not just to study. It's like, I go to Subang to learn to live, where my top priority is to study.
And then I realised that starting from that day, I need to decide what to eat for my meals, grocery shopping, cleaning the toilet, sweeping the floor, mopping the floor, keeping my study table clean, wash my own clothes, high self-discipline in studying and drawing.


So far, the one I did the worst is  the self-studying part. No more mothers will nag us. We all used to hate it when our moms scolded us for not studying but then now, I'd kill to have my mom to sit beside me and keep asking me to study.
Because then, my mom was responsible for me. All I had to do was to complain. Now, I kena responsible for myself. I used to think that I was quite independent enough but if this is what independence feels like then I think I wasn't that good after all.


And then the money thing is also a major factor. I walk out and I spend money. It's all about saving, saving and saving that sometimes I feel so tired of it. Back at home, I could just grab anything I want to eat when I'm hungry. Now I can't because it's all money. And then last time, whatever I wanted to buy, I could just tell my mom. Now, bloody hell, it's all money again.


Everything suddenly seem so expensive and I realise how much money my parents actually spent on me alone. And I have brother and 2 sisters. It's no wonder why my parents want to make sure I get good grades.


Now I totally understand why some parents don't let their children out.


Gues what's the worst thing of all?
I have a completely different dream with my parents.
And it hurts to hurt them.