I'm Running

"Pray to God. He gave you a week. You give him an hour."

I was watching Confessions of Shopaholic with my friend just now. And we had a fun time ... laughing.
So anyway, if you actually read my blog frequently, you will realise that something is again, terribly wrong with my layout. I'm too lazy to change it. So, bear with the "This image or video has been moved or deleted" message.

I realise that sometimes, my imagination is too vivid. Like for example, last Thursday, when I was distracting myself from having a not-so-pain-but-rather-painful stomachache, I had to imagine my life. For some of you, you guys can almost figure out that my life in the future would be like... extremely poor. So, the thing is, I (imagine that I) have 3 kids at the age of 17. Yes, at the tender age of 17, I am pregnant. Nine months later, I give birth of a set of triplets. Life is hard. My parents are angry with me.

Because I am pregnant already, I can't further my studies to achieve my dreams. Instead of becoming a comic artist, I ended up being an assistant comic artist. I err.. imagined myself drawing, hugging my crying baby while crying and wonder how did my life turn out so badly. My husband ran away with other girl after he knew that I was pregnant.

It was a very vivid imagination, when I was in the toilet. You may stop reading and leave my blog if you think that the idea of me imagining stuffs while I'm in the toilet disgusts you(Phew, long sentence). So, I imagined a lot but there's no way I'll type them out. Some imagination are best left for the imaginators only(No, there's nothing dirty in my imagination) .

I think I should go practice my drawing already.Tata! Now, I call myself "The Girl With the Green Scarf Blue Jacket". Leave it if you don't know what I mean. No one will know anyway.

"To be successful, you have to be hardworking. But if you are hardworking, it doesn't mean you will be successful."

She Worked Hard

Do you know that Ai Yazawa used to have a hard life?
She couldn't find any jobs because her drawing sucked.
And today, I don't know if she still lead a hard life.
As far as I know, comic artists hardly lead nice life.
They draw and draw and draw and extend their deadlines.

And I can almost see my own future.
It's ironic to say, but I love the I-need-more-days-to-finish-my-comic life and I-need-more-money life. Alright, scratch that I-need-more-money life. No one love it when they don't have money.
And I love money.
For all I know, I hardly believe that I'll be rich in the future. It's not that I don't believe in myself. But I know what it feels like to take art and reality is harsh. I'm willing to compromise with reality on that. In the future, I might be drawing for three days straight, not sleep, have oily fugly hair, eyebags, pimples, BMI goes lower and many many more fugly stuffs... sigh...
If life is so hard, then why is it I still love art?

Moo...

"Those heroic acts we see in stories are..so unrealistic." -Nana(Hachi) from NANA-

Sometimes, I truly wonder how some most people can be emo for such a long time. I'm surprised how they can think:
"He/She doesn't love me anymore."
"I hate my life. My life is so f***** up"
"I SMSed him and he didn't reply me."
"I feel a hole in my life."
"He/She doesn't give a damn about me."

You know, I would rather spend my time thinking:
"Damnit! The exams are here!"
"I've been procrastinating for the whole week and I haven't even started my Art folio."
"I didn't draw today."
"What should I buy for my friends' brithdays?"
"All I want is to sleep."
"I want a new drawing pen."
"I want lots of money."
"I want even more money."
"I need these money to buy many many manga."
"And anime."

Hmm... I lead a rather positive life. My parents must be very happy to see their daughter growing up to be such a happy lady. Kudos to my parents!

But I have to admit there are times when I feel down and sad. After all, we're all human. No one's perfect and I'm someone. It might sounds stupid, but I used to be very negative. Like, I get sad easily and definitely, emotional. My family and good friends will know that it's my biggest weakness. But there's no way I'll have the I-know-I-am-emotional-but-so-what thought. I have the I-know-I-am-emotional-but-I'll-change-for-better thought. I am doing my very best(I hope) to be a better person so harap-harap my friends will support me. Teehee.

Biology? What exactly is it? It's the Study of Life.

"I'll not give up until my soul dies. And my soul will never die."

I'm currently drawing the most challenging drawing in my life. It's based on a photo I took when I was in Taiwan.

Again, nothing happen this week. Teachers are all telling us about how near SPM is and how we should study harder. Frankly speaking,, I haven't set a target for my SPM. I am aiming for 8As but on a second thought, why waste another two subjects when I can get 10As. But then again, the thought of Biology is freaking me out.

The bottom line is, I hate Biology.
Since last year, I've been convincing myself not to hate this subject.

And I didn't succeed of course.
I still hate it.
Sniff... pitiful Bio, I hate it just because I think it's difficult. This is so not me.
Drawing is difficult too but I don't know why I still love it.

Damn Biology.
I hate you so much but you've given me so much knowledge.

Plus, my sucky Bio teacher, Mr. Gay(no, that's not his real name), increases my Bio hate-o-meter.
X(
I think I might get into my emo mode(although, I am fairly satisfied with my life) if I continue to detest Biology.

Biology, I love you.
Alright, that's a lie.
I still think art is better.

updated! It's an insight on our traditional art, Makyong! Go read it!

Something About Love That Everyone Knows but a Few Understand

It's ironic how today, we think we are in love only to realise, that actually we are not.
I wonder how these people overcome heartbreak. I myself have never experience this before.

Love.

This word alone has got so much power.
It determines:

how willing a man is to sacrifice for the woman he loves
how a girl is willing to give up her family and herself for the boy she loves
how a family can stand together
how the heart of a girl shatters
how the she is willing to stand up again
how friends support one another
how some people got so blinded by it
how many succeeded because of it
how many failed because of it
how some can go through failure and failure and never give up
how some can give up willingly
how a few are willing to die for it

See the power of love? Love is so powerful that no one can survive without it.
And love is so blind.
It makes a man who knows nothing to learn something.
It makes a man who knows something to forget everything.

Maybe All of Us are Successful

"No one is hopeless when hope is in God."

Hmm... this week is fairly..okay. Nothing dramatic happened.
In other words, it's a boring week.

Anyway, many of my friends are thinking of their future. Everyone is thinking what they should become. Their ambitions, their dreams. It makes me think of it too.
Alright, actually, I think of it all the time. Isn't it nice to imagine a bright future awaits you? Well, frankly speaking, visualising myself drawing in the future is so.. soo... beautiful.

If people think of their dreams every night, I'm sure they will achieve them.
Sigh... time sure flies. In a while, I'll be sitting for SPM, get license, work, go to NS if I get chosen, make choices and many many more.
Suddenly, I can't be childish anymore. I'll have to start planning what I really want. How I miss those days when I could behave like a child. Like when I was in Lower Form, I was never really that worried of my own future.

I mean, my own future is in my own hand. I'm the only person who can control it. What I become in the future depends on myself.
Which is the reason why I want the best out of myself. I want to do something I truly want. I want to become somebody I really want.
I don't want to say, "If I ever...". I want to say, "When I...."
If I let the public to control my future, then I'll disappoint myself.
So I should really think carefully. If I make a mistake, will I have the chance to turn back?
Choices lead to other choices. Life is so hard.

But lets not give up. If we really make choices that we think is the best, then I think we are all brave people.
When hope and faith is deep inside us, no one can break us down.

And I definitely believe in myself.
Because I love myself.
After all, success. What exactly is it?
From what I know and understand, it's not a destination, it's a journey.
Does it matter if we don't achieve our goals? What matters is that we choose and chase after our goals.

"There's only one person who's with you through thick and thin. That person is you."