"Every successful person in this world started off by dreaming."

I'm relieved that the exams are over! Weehee!!
I can save the tears on Wednesday when I get back my papers.

Anyway, I read Nana chaper 79 SPOILERS. Apparently, botak-head told Nana that sigh... Ren's dead. Sigh... Ren's dead. It feels like the world is coming to an end.
The fans are complaining because the story's pace is getting slower and slower. I do agree with this actually. I mean, I've been reading for so long but there hasn't been much progress. Sniff.
The truth is I'm bored. So so bored. I've got nothing to do. I just finish one satisfying simple drawing in my sketchbook yesterday. It's for my school rebuilding fund.
And oh, I'm getting manga tone tomorrow. Weehee!! My very first manga tone. I feel so excited up to the extend that I had nightmare. Kinokuniya wasn't selling manga tone anymore. I dreamt that I went to the manga tone section and I saw empty boxes. I searched through each box.. but I couldn't find anything. And I shouted.
And then I woke up and realised it was only a dream.
Buddha, that was scary.

"People who gossip to you will gossip about you."

I feel so bad right now.
I bitched about a friend whom I'm supposed to help.
I even bitched to.. one of the gossipy friend.
And she'll end up bitching that I bitched about a friend whom I'm supposed to help.
I mean, I am helping my friend sincerely.
I didn't know that I was bitching about her. I just told my friend what I saw. I told them that my friend so _________, so she should have _________.

Sigh.. I feel really really bad right now.
The guilt is poking deep into my heart. And it's so.. painful.
Even though I knew that, my friend is a little bit wrong too, I shouldn't have bitched about her.
*Sniff*
How can I afford to be such a bitch?
*sniff*
Buddha, forgive me. I didn't mean it.

I'm not wrong I must not justify my actions.
But I did it because she Oh shut me, I MUST not do any self-justification.(does self-justification has "-"?)

"I must learn to admit that I'm wrong."

"When you're not talented, you have to think you're the best."

Things about me(that some people don't know):

1. My dream is to be a comic artist to inspire people.
2. I am not born to be strong. I made myself a strong person.
3. There are times when I'm weak. When I feel like a complete useless person. But less now.
4. I would rather to fail for my exams than to cheat. I don't want to be someone without principles.
5. I feel sad for people who are negative an weak all the time. They should wake up already.
6. I think I'm getting bored of Jay Chou's Qian Shan Wan Shui. Because I've been hearing it over and over again.
7. I never get bored of F.I.R songs. I don't call myself a loyal or extreme fan of them. But I do love their songs because their songs were made out of love.
8. And I don't care about their private lives. As long as they produce nice songs, I'm satisfied already.
9. I have quite a lovely life.
10. I'm rather emotional and moody. I'm happy this minute and sad next. And I get depressed really really easily.
11. But I'm doing my very best to be positive.
12. I'm gambling with my future.
13. Because I chose the road of passion instead of the road of safety.
14. I respect my class teacher a lot. And I mean a lot.
15. One of my dreams is also to be an art teacher.
16. I don't like the way some Malaccans dress. They look.. awful with those excessive accessories here and there.
17. I don't really like living in the city.
    
18. I have digestion problems when I'm in the city.
19. And I get homesick.
20. I've got colon cancer.
21. It's real.
22. I just knew it today.
23. And I'm dying.
    

No, I lied.
Teehee... I call this list "A Step to Understand Yeok Ho's life". Well, harap-harap now you know a little more about me.

"Even if you're at the peak of your problems, taking your own life is the most stupid way of running away."

Friends.

"For me, there's nothing more beautiful than a sincere smile."

I feel pretty emo right now.
Sigh... there are times when I feel like a loser as a best friend.

I was too caught up with my dreams that I forgot to take care of my best friend.
As a friend... I failed to notice, to take care more of my friends. I always thought I that I have a very stable friendship with my friends. But I didn't see the problem which is like right in front of my eyes.

*sniff*

I should take care more of my friends.

"Love yourself. Love your friends."

"Fear knocked on the door.
Faith answered.
No one was there. " -old saying-

You have heard of this:

"I love you forever. And I always will. I will never leave you, " said a 16-year-old guy.
"Oh, really? I love you too, " replied the girl.
-Three days later-
"I thought you love me!! How can you be so irresponsible!! The baby in my stomach is yours too!!" shouted the girl teary eyed.
"Oh, shut up already! It was your fault from the beginning for not taking the contraceptive pill!! And how can you believe that I actually love you??!! It was just a freaking joke!!" scolded the guy.

Pfft.. if these teenagers don't start to be careful, anything can happen. Mind you, if the mother of the baby can abandon her own baby, the father will definitely run away from responsibilities.
This world is just full of things that you don't expect.
That's why I think it's fun.

Please, don't go around getting so caught up with the I-love-you thingy and then the next thing you know, you have a baby popping out from your you-know-what.

This is how the conversation is when I told my mom I'm pregnant.

Me: Mom, I'm pregnant. *touching my stomach*
Mom: Don't sampat.

And then I laughed really hard because my mom was like so damn expressionless. She wasn't worried, angry or whatsoever. She just asked me not to be sampat-ed.
God, that means my mom trusts me.

P.S. I'm not pregnant. The above conversation was only a joke. I wanted to test my mom's reaction. And it was hilarious! Ohohohohohohohoho....

"Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything."

"Ren's dead! " -Takumi-

It seems like I'm too obsessed with Jay Chou's 千山万水. It's not like I'm a great fanatic of him but I love 千山万水. It's such an inspiring song. And I'm hearing it right now. Teehee. I was rewatching Nana and rereading Fullmetal Alchemist. Again, I wonder, why Yazawa-sensei and Arakawa-sensei are so Godly (at least for me). Sigh... I hope one day, I want to surpass them. And then I'll win lots of international awards. And my speech will go like this,

"I ... knew one day I can get this. I.. I'm so happy that I can inspire. I would first of all, thank both my parents who never fail to give up on loving me. I would also like to thank my sisters and brother. Without them, I will never have the fun and inspirations in drawing. Also, thank you to my company that gave me so much chances to expand my talent. THANK YOU people out there, whoever you are, friend or foe, for encouraging me so much. And my art teacher, who taught and guided me ever since I was in Standard 3. So many people inspired me and millions of thanks to you guys!! Lastly, the most important one, thank you my fans!!"

The part about my fans was added my cousin. Anyway, it's such a great thing when I go up there. Teehee.... I can't wait.

"I should stop being emo. Let's be happy!"

No Nana fanatics would be happy with this.
I might need quite a long time to get over this. I'm a big fanatic of Nana. I'm shocked.


Let's hope that he's resting in peace.
*sniff*