I became crazy because My boyfriend ditched me.

"There's nothing impossible, only unrealistic."

I sprained my toe. Funny, right? Who the hell in the world sprains her toe? I did.
It was a sunny Thursday and I was playing tennis with my best friend (it was a school trip), trying to receive and serve the ball nicely, and suddenly, I sprained my toe. Mind you, spraining toe is not a nice thing. I walk like a duck.

Gosh, it sucks.

Anyway, I managed to put screen tones into meh picture. Here's the fugly result.




It's a weird background if you ask me. But anyway, I still did something to it. It's the first time.. ohohohohohoh~~~ Anyway, this is a short post. Baboi!!

"When I dream too much, I'll wake myself up."

"There're two doors of happiness. Whenever one closes, another opens. But often to look so much at the closed one that we don't realise that one is opened for us."-Helen Keller-

Frankly speaking, most of the time, I'm down because of my future.

The thing is, I think my mom doesn't believe in me. Today, she had one of the lectures of how we shouldn't depend our life on art. I was telling her about my art teacher winning some awards and blablas.. she was like, "You know, most artist are poor. Admit it. This is reality we're talking about. Art can just be a hobby. Nobody's actually a rich artist."

I wanted to add Pablo Picasso was a rich artist. Of course I did not, fearing she doesn't know who Picasso is. Anyway, she has been repeating this for a zillion times. Obviously, she knows what I want to become in the future. Obviously she doesn't agree. Just the other day, she told me that my cousin is planning to further he studies to Singapore. In order not to make her feel that I'm an immature freak who hasn't planned her future, I told her that I'm planning to apply to scholarship to England.(By the way, my cousin's 15) I did planned my future. I did it like when I was in Form 2. Only I did a more specific one when I was in IAG. Anyway, I told her about me wanting to go to England. And she thought I'm thinking of going to Form 6. I wanted to tell her that I want to study in The One Academy first but I wasn't really ready. So she said, " Well, it's so hard to get." I replied, "So I'll have to do my best-lor."

She was like, "It kinda depends on your luck also. If you get only 5 to 6 As for you SPM, it's impossible to get, you know." She doesn't even know that I am thinking applying an art scholarship. I wanted to tell her, of course but I didn't want to ruin our shopping mood since we were in Mid Valley.

Anyway, today, she said, "Artist can hardly get money. Aiya, you know, unless you win an award or you're famous.. which obviously.. not really.. you know.. " I felt like crying everytime she said that. I don't understand why though she said that artist are all poor. My art teacher is rich! My mom knows that I'm taking art in my future but she doesn't believe I'll be a successful one.

I mean, it's not like I'm angry. I know that artists can hardly earn any money. But not all are poor right? Some artists just don't make the effort to get more money. I'm just tad disappointed that my mom doesn't believe me when I believe in myself. I really really want to be a famous comic artist. I know that my mom wants what's best for me. She just thinks that ... you know.. art can only be a hobby, never an occupation. That's why I'm doing my very very best right now to show her how much I love art. Even if my husband's going to die early leaving me with 3 babies to take care of, I need her support to be famous ( by the way, I had this vivid imagination of my husband dying early and me crying him not to go away and taking care of three miserable babies, living in an extremely old rumah kampung ). After all, if J.K. Rowling could survive in the streets writing Harry Potter and taking care of her babies, why can't I? XD

"Never let your fear to control you."

"A change we can believe in"-Barrack Obama campaign-

Many have been talking about Olympics and Lee Chong Wei. Obviously, I'm not. Sports is not my cup of tea.
It might seem stupid but I didn't know Hello Baby by Obata Takeshi(that is, Death Note mangaka) is a one shot. No wonder I waited for the second for half a year and I never came. Silly me. Haha... It's a pretty good oneshot though. People like me, who's obsessed with otaku should read.

Pretty cool right? The picture I mean. I love the girl. She's .. pretty.

Anyway, have ever boasted something to the whole world but deep down inside, you're afraid of who you are, what are your abilities, and how much your confidence is? Well, that's what I'm feeling right now. I am afraid of my abilities. What if one day, I can't be a famous comic artist? What if I'm actually a bad person.

But then, it's because that I'm afraid, I have to tell people about my dreams. So that they can laugh at me when I don't achieve it. But then again, success is a journey, not a destination and if you actually think about it... is success about getting famous comic artist and earning lots of money? I mean, of course I want to be a famous comic artist but at the end of the day, what matters to me is if I can inspire and be happy. Perhaps I should change my goal from a successful comic artist to a happy and inspiring comic artist. Because when we inspire and love what we do, we can be famous right?

"If banning Death Note can make people better, why not ban all the bad things in the world?"

-Obata Takeshi-

Rockin' Art

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.
-Pablo Picasso-

"Draw from the heart, not the head. When you draw from the head, nothing good comes out."
-A forgotten artist-

"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together. "
-Vincent Van Gogh-

I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream.
-Vincent Van Gogh-

"Are we to paint what's on the face, what's inside the face, or what's behind it? "
-Pablo Picasso-

It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.
-Pablo Picasso-

"We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth, at least the truth that is given to us to understand. "
-Pablo Picasso-

Art is never finished, only abandoned.
-Leonardo da Vinci-

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
-Leonardo da Vinci-


Gyahh.. I'm inspired now!! It's 2 something in the morning!! I'm going to draw!!

Let's rock the art!!

Bloggehhhh time!!!!

"There's always a tomorrow. I'll wake up and shine better than ever"

Phew... lot's of hard work were poured on the Library's Farewell Party. But it wasn't really like what we planned. Lots of last minute preparation. Sighh...

Anyway, moving to a more positive topic, finally the holidays are here!! Which means I can do lots of things which I've wanted to do! Like, finishing mind maps, doing my PJ folio....and stuffs.

Recently, I don't know why, but I've pretty addicted to one of the Taiwanese drama. Fated to Love You. I didn't even know why I watch it at first. I saw the advertisement and I was like.. "Hmm.. maybe I should go watch some typical Taiwanese drama". So I watched. It appears that this drama is typical at first. But I love the progress of the story. It was like.. at first they give you that kind of you-know-what-will-happen-next story. But as the story progresses, lots of things that you don't know will happen. Really, I find this a very special drama.

And I love the main character. She's not your typical girl-next-door or a girl who's extremely cheerful and dense(that sometimes they annoy you) and definitely not one who FAKES a lot. She's like one of those quiet and shy girl who seldom talks . I mean, these people really exist right? They're so quiet that we don't even know they're actually visible.

Well, go watch yourself if you want to know the storyline.

By the way, this story has two name: "You're My destiny" and "Fated to Love You"





"Life is like a game. You can't expect yourself to win everytime."

Heath Ledger is a Legend

I haven't watch The Dark Night.
But soon.

My computer was suffering from stroke last week. This explains the why I didn't blog last week. (I hope I can use the word "blog" as a verb)

Apparently, my scanner died of cancer. And now, my computer. It's currently improving.
And oh, did I mention it lost its memories?
Not only that, the connection now is slower than a snail. Can't I just live normally and happily with my computer?

Anyway, for the past few weeks, I had (and still having) quite a number of nasty comments from my friends. Well, I can't really call it nasty. They're meant to improve myself. But I was pretty sad. I mean, you don't going around giggling at strangers when you're criticized, do you? No, nobody critic me on my drawing.The one which I'm hoping for. I was criticized mostly on my attitude. Perhaps deep down inside I'm not a good person after all. Maybe I'm bad.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that my self-esteem has down-graded. I still love myself very much.
Okay, fine, maybe it did. But only a little bit.

It's so hard to digest all the comments people made on me.
Which is why I've made a list on my positive side and the negative one.

Negative perspective:
1. I tend to get angry quickly. Especially when I'm tired or frustrated.
2. I can get really really annoying.
3. I... messy?!!
4. I love to show-off .
5. I judge people too quickly.
6. I suck in Biology.

Positive perspective:
1. I am a good friend to be with...?!! (I'm not so sure about this, gotta ask my friends)
2. I do care about my friends. But they don't seem to realise that.
3. I love my family. They're my heart and soul.
4. I am a dedicated librarian.
5. I'm actually writing this down.
6. I love drawing and I draw everyday.
7. I am not dumb, not very smart either.
8. I am ... slightly crazy?!
9. I love myself.
10.I am not fat. Underweight but not suffering from malnutrition.
11.I am not anorexic either.
12.Neither bulimic.
13.I am confident.
14.I am mentally strong.
15.I can accept failures.

Hmm... I should write this more often. Maybe you should. It makes you happier. It makes you think that you're actually not that nasty. Just imperfect. We are humans after all. Learn to accept our weaknesses(and of course improve on it) and then others.

Now, I feel so much happier!! XD
Baboi!!!