Charity.

amTo be honest, I've always admired people who like to do charity. All because I'm not one of those charity type of people. Just recently, I realised how lazy and selfish I am.


I mean, those people out there who are willing to spend time to help those strangers whom they don't even are amazing. I've got quite a lot of friends who joined societies (or still joining) to help out. Like, they would go to concerts, blood donation drives, volunteer help in some sort of orphanages, visit the old folks' home etc.


I've never done all these. Except once in Form 1 when I went to this mentally disable children's home. I went there not really because I wanted to help out what.. just went there out of curiosity. And boy, they really don't have life there. Those children just lie on the bed and stuffs.. they were kinda like in their own world la...

And I was like, "Aww... poor little children.. all staying here, can't do things like us.. "
And I felt like that not because I REALLY felt like that, it was merely that was supposed to be how my response should be at that time. That was what I was supposed to do. To pity them.


And then throughout all these years, I realised that I'm not really someone compassionate. I'm not an animal lover and in fact, I'm scared of dogs. I don't go help strangers in need and stuffs. Which makes me kind of like a useless human being.


I'm not going to do all these charity work because I think I should, because I think it's the right way. Or because I wanna be labeled a "good" person or whatsoever. It would pretty much make me a hypocrite.


I'm just plain lazy and I don't think I really have sincerity in helping people. But then again, it doesn't really mean I don't help strangers. Like, sometimes, I still donate money to those charity foundation but that's as far as I can go. Because money requires no energy and I'm just plain selfish and lazy to be a profound good compassionate person and I don't really care if I'm labeled selfish.


I might as well sleep, go for some shopping, study and practise drawing.
Yes, this is how boring I can be.