月荷

Sometimes in life, we doubt what we're doing. We look back and then wonder, are we choosing the right choice? Why is that, for 4 years, I've been so confident of my choice and suddenly, I see myself helpless.

I see myself having trouble to ignore what people are expecting of me. From the second I made up my mind, I knew all these would be coming, sooner or later. I know my family, my relatives, some of my friends, some of my teachers are expecting something different from me.

I'm pretty sure that once in a while, we all expect someone we trust, someone we love to tell us that we can do it, that we can overcome this, to give us some motivation, to give us a shoulder to cry on, to tell us that when we feel weak, they'll be there for us.

And yes, I do have friends who support me, I have family who believes in my choice and tell me not to look back. Still, I can't help but think that there're still a lot of people who will tell me that this choice I'm making is stupid, they want me to take something that they assume is professional, something that gives me money, something that people will think highly of, something that will "wow" the society.

But I really can't do it. I've already compromise a lot and I really can't go further. I'm really sorry I can't.

I really don't wake up in the mornings and say, "Sigh.. another day of working."
I don't want to give a damn about what the society thinks anymore. I don't care if people are saying that I threw away my 2 years in Science class, I threw away my 9As.

I don't want to care about them anymore because they've never cared how much challenges I've went through, am going through and will go through.

All I want is for someone to say the choice that I'm making is the best one.

But well, I guess in this world, we really can't wait for someone to save us. No one will come up and save me. No one will live my future. Only I do. I need to save myself. I don't know if I can do this but I know for sure, if I haven't tried, I can't say anything.